Renewing My Mind This Fall: Letting Go of an Old Lie About My Worth

Hey friends,

For as long as I can remember, I’ve believed a lie about my worth. This fall, God is finally pulling it up by the roots.

I want to tell you how, but let me start at my window.

Fall has settled in here in Eden. I’ve been watching the clouds roll by. The sun comes out, then hides behind a cloud, then comes out again.

The wind keeps tugging leaves off the trees. I can hear them blowing across the yard, and my wind chimes ring right along with them.

Nobody has to tell those trees when to let go. God set that rhythm long ago, and He still keeps it.

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night shall never cease.” (Genesis 8:22, BSB)

This week’s video tells this story face to face. Here, I want to go a little deeper.

Watch this week’s video on YouTube

What God Is Renewing in Me

Watching the leaves fall makes me ask what I’m still holding on to. For me, it’s mostly thoughts. Some of them I’ve carried so long that I stopped noticing they were there.

This is the verse I keep coming back to:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2, BSB)

Paul doesn’t say to try harder. He doesn’t say to act like everything is fine. He says to be transformed, and that is work only God can do.

So what does that look like for me right now? Part of the answer is a course.

Why I’m Taking This Course

I’m in the middle of a Christ-centered certification course. When I complete it, I’ll be a certified Limbic System Reprogramming practitioner.

I wanted this so much. My mind had been full of lies, and I was eager to be free.

My husband and I paid a pretty penny for this certification. We chose to, because once you’ve tasted the freedom that’s found in Christ, you want to help others find it too.

Everything true about who we are is already in God’s Word. What the course gives me is a structured formula for using His Word, so my mind can be reprogrammed with His truth.

And it has uncovered just how deep one lie goes.

The Lie I’ve Believed the Longest

That lie is about worthiness. It says I’m not worth much, and that I’m not allowed to love myself. It goes back as far as I can remember.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand. We live in a fallen world, and the enemy can use the people in our lives, because all of us are sinners. We pay a price for the sins others commit against us.

But it goes both ways. Other people pay for our sins against them too, sometimes when we never meant any harm. Even with God’s Spirit living in us, sin is still there, and the Spirit and the flesh are always at war.

“For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want.” (Galatians 5:17, BSB)

Some of you have been lied to or cheated on. Some have been betrayed, or even hit. Others have had their character defamed and slandered, or had something of value taken, or threatened, even through an unjust court system.

So many of us have lived some of this. I have too.

But we don’t have to carry the full weight of it. Not when we know who God says we are, and who He created us to be.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7, BSB)

My value doesn’t change with what anyone says, thinks or does to me. Neither does yours. I can testify that God is working in me, and when He is for us, the victory is already ours.

“What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31, BSB)

Here’s where that truth got very personal for me.

Chosen, and Still Standing

I want to tell you about my cancer diagnosis.

A diagnosis like that can threaten your life, or at least feel like it does. Then the people you thought would love and support you aren’t there. For me, that made the old lie louder than ever.

I felt like I had no value. I felt like I was just an annoyance. And if your life is on the line and nobody seems to care, you start to wonder what the point of living is.

It’s a big lie.

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” (Psalm 27:10, BSB)

God called me to something bigger. He called me to glorify Him, even through battles and dark places, so that my testimony would point back to Him.

He chose me. I am chosen, and I’m still standing.

And friend, if you’re reading this, so are you. You’re still standing too, and God sees you.

Trials, Battles, Blessings

So why would God let us go through all this? I’ve had to learn this one slowly.

There are times God allows the enemy to work through the people we love, and the people who love us. God uses those hard seasons to bring us through battles, so we’ll draw nearer to Him, know Jesus personally and be renewed.

If we remain in Christ and keep our eyes on God, those trials and battles become blessings. He makes good out of what was meant for evil, just like He did for Joseph (Genesis 50:20).

“As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good, in order to accomplish a day like this—to preserve the lives of many people.” (Genesis 50:20, BSB)

“And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28, BSB)

I’ve seen this in my own life. God rewards me. He has before, and I trust He’ll keep doing it.

His rewards rarely come when I want them to. They don’t always look like what I expected. But they always turn out better than I imagined.

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,” (Ephesians 3:20, BSB)

God isn’t done with me or my story. He isn’t done with you or yours either. We don’t have to have it all figured out.

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6, BSB)

Walking This Together

On the days the old thoughts get loud, I pray through a song I created, “Holy, Keep Me.” It’s for the moments when worry and fear crowd in.

Take this worry
Take this fear
Hold me steady
Keep me here

One more line from it is close to my heart right now: “Every broken part You love the same.”

Songs and videos created by Jeanna.

On Monday, Oct 12 at 7 AM ET, my new song “New Every Morning” premieres on Journey With Jeanna Worship. It was inspired by this promise:

“Because of the loving devotion of the LORD we are not consumed, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!” (Lamentations 3:22–23, BSB)

If you’d like to keep walking this with me, here are a few gentle next steps:

What is God renewing in you this fall? I’d love to hear in the comments, and I’ll be praying for you.

God bless you,
Jeanna

This is my personal story, not medical advice.

Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB). The BSB is in the public domain.

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